Find Me A Stage, I Have Something To Say — MED

Find Me A Stage, I Have Something to Say
September 24, 2018

Boys Will Be Boys

What a weekend of news surrounding the Supreme Court Confirmation hearing! More accusers have stepped forward. My personal take is that everyone needs to step back and vet the allegations before continuing the Confirmation hearing. There are calls for investigations, political accusations being levied and bipartisan criticisms flowing like a river. Toss in the comments on the Tweeter sphere and this is regrettable on multiple levels.

The behavior in question is not just on the national stage. I recently found myself sitting across the desk from a Human Resources Manager of a former employer. I had walked through an open door asking to talk for a few moments. I stated my concerns after witnessing several of the males assigned cubicles in hearing distance from mine mouthing off. In a few months time I had listened to racial slurs, sexist comments, cursing at its best and a round of jokes about the NYC Gay Pride Parade. At first I just ignored it but after a particular week of comments and a reference to women as pigs I had had enough. If I was insulted I felt that others in proximity were possibly insulted too. I relayed my concerns to the HR Manager. What surprised me was the comment I received in response to my concerns, “boys will be boys”. Perhaps she did not hear me; perhaps it was my calm demeanor that generated this absurd response. The atmosphere this group of employees was creating was uncomfortable, not appropriate and of no benefit to the company. At the very least investigate what was going on. By saying Boys will be Boys lead me to believe she was well aware of the said behavior but was not willing to deal with it. I did not follow through with what would be done; it felt like I was not being listened too. I received my answer the a few days later that something had been said. One of the bullies / ring leaders made an inappropriate comment and another yelled out, “Watch what you say”. Wow! Now they were inappropriate and sending me a backhanded insult. Prior to my HR conversation I had witnessed one of the offenders get upset, turn bright red, pound his first on his desk and yell fuck repeatedly. He was forceful and I have no idea what prompted this episode but it left me wondering if this anger could be targeted physically against a coworker. I listened to this nonsense until as a professional I could not put up with such disrespect. This behavior along with a few other factors played into my decision to resign. I have been through Boys being Boys before; I am at a point in my life where I can choose not to put up with it.

My feeling, they should have lost their jobs, apparently this behavior was allowed to be exhibited for years. I was not the first to complain nor am I sure I will be the last to complain. I asked several of my coworkers why they accepted this behavior. Their answers were not surprising, they were fearful of losing their job. How disconcerting that biases behavior boarding on illegal wins out because employees were in fearful. They have bills to pay, they are close to retirement, they have kids to feed, college tuition to pay, and jeopardizing an income was not an option. How could this be in 2018!! We can do better!! The Boys will be Boys atmosphere proliferates. Frustrating but true, why? Now we are seeing alleged Boys will be Boys behavior played out on a national level.

This leaves me feeling what can be done to stop it on a personal level, in the work place and in are elected office as well as in schools. Leaders I feel should lead by example. I do not think there is any one answer to solve this remarkable challenge, the excuse Boys will be Boys should be retired promptly.

Thank you for your time. Hope your level awareness was raised.

The words shared above are my express opinion upon watching the September 24, 2018 morning news shows. My words are meant to raise a level of awareness not malice.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year form Find Me A Stage I have something to Say!

I have taken a long break from posting in this forum.  Struggling to find a direction to take this commentary in has stifled my writing.  It is not that I do not have plenty to say it is just I have no idea if anyone out there is really interested.  I am a news hound and love to comment how I feel about the various news stories from the mundane to the significant.  The news has become all out political with a flash of local news stories.  Nothing I feel compelled to write about.  That is why I stopped.  I have plenty of material but who is reading???

As I am typing I am updating my online economics class for a local community college.  I love teaching and gain a tremendous amount of professional satisfaction from listening to my students.  I also get a few laughs along the way.  Perhaps that is the direction I should go in, along with being a parent and grandparent.  So today I will share a student interaction that recently happened.  Please note I will not use any actual names in my writing so as to keep everyone’s privacy.  My interactions have actually occurred but I have taught at several different colleges so I will not identify where the interaction has taken place.

I have never been much for assigning homework at the college level.  I prefer the students engage in the classroom sessions in the form of enlightened discussions.  As the teaching has evolved so has the various ways of assessing students.  I am at times forced to give homework to be graded to assess.  Also I tryit  to just get some students to open a textbook.

I had a student come up to me after class to let me know he does not do homework because it just does not work for him.  This discussion took place mid-semester.  The student was already failing miserably.  Homework, honestly was the least of his problems.  I explained that it might be a good idea to attempt some of the homework so that he would not fail the class.  He again told me it did not work for him.  I questioned in confidence if there was a learning challenge that could be accommodated.  The answer was a resounding no.  I was puzzled and it must have shown through my expression.  The student wanted me to know he expected to pass the class.  What?  I know I am old but did I hear that right?  This particular student showed up for 10 minutes, yes you read that correctly, each class session.  He was not getting it so I politely explained, if I have nothing to grade than I have to use a zero.  The zero than equates to an F which is the grade he would receive if he did not start attempting some of the assigned work.  He told me he was okay with it, I did not question him any further.

The semester continued and his lack of presence in class and his non-existent work continued.  You know where this is going, the student failed.  What surprises me is why waste precious time involved in a course you are not going to make any effort in? Life is way to short!  If he expected a passing grade he was mistaken.  Going to college is a commitment to yourself.  You commit to participate so that your end goal of obtaining a degree or additional knowledge in a specific subject is met.  If learning was not a goal than why bother.

When you join the workforce you cannot show up for just 10 minutes and you have to put in some type of effort to remain employed.  I am just baffled by the lack of effort and caring.  Perhaps instead of pumping high school students up to attend college maybe we should be teaching them how to actually function in the world.  They have all the resources they could ever need in the palm of their hand via their cellphones.  Instead of making them put the phones away maybe we should encourage using the phones as a learning instrument.  Just my take on the world.

Thanks and please let me know if you are out there reading.


Find Me A Stage, I Have Something To Say — MED

Find Me A Stage, I Have Something to Say —MED
October 12, 2018

Why Are Illegal Scammers Calling?

I have shared in previous Find Me A Stage, I Have Something To Say — MED essays that I am unemployed. It is a difficult stage in my life that I am working through. In future essays I will explain but for now I am making the best of it as evidenced by my blogging. Each day I sit at my laptop and fire off an essay. The majority of the essays I post to this blog. Once in awhile I just don’t feel it. This week while attempting to compose, our landline rang literally every 5 minutes. Yes, we still have a landline because in rural NJ cell phones are not always reliable.

This now prehistoric communication instrument has become an annoyance. As the granddaughter of a phone installer, I struggle with canceling our landline; the last link to my grandfather’s profession that provided much comfort monetarily to our family. The damn thing just keeps ringing slicing into our peaceful existence. Sadly most calls are just robo calls attempting to sell a listing in a Google Business Directory. Oh the programmers are crafty but I am on to them. Columbia, Elizabeth, Blairstown and Jersey City, New Jersey are not calling us, Google is on the line!!!! Especially Columbia and Elizabeth, we know no one in these NJ towns. The phone rings nonstop from these destinations only to reveal that we are about to lose our listing if we do not confirm. What listing, we have never approved a listing nor do we want one. My spouse has waited patiently to request our number be put on a do not call list. You think diminishing to threats to file a complaint with the police due to harassment or a lawsuit would deter Mr. / Mrs. Google Robot. Not scary enough for this flip robot. I have tried acting shocked that they have reached a secure line and told them the authorities will be contacting them. Laughable, the phone rang minutes later from the same group.

Recently the caller ID started identifying spam callers. As if we could not figure this out as members of the human race. Still Google appearing morning, noon and night in the spam mix. Now we are receiving calls from Illegal spam callers. What? If someone is placing Illegal calls why the heck is my caller ID able to indentify this action? Secondly, if this is an illegal communication does the caller actually think someone is going to respond? Hello, “my name is John XXO and I want to invite you to donate to my fake charity”??? Honestly why is the caller ID doing double time indentifying illegal activity. Where are the authorities? If my home is my sanctuary than why are Google and their Illegal friends repeatedly permitted to interrupt?

Our newest plan of attack, notify all family and friends that our landline is going down and provide everyone with our cell phone numbers. You can just image how this conversation went with the senior members of our family. “What!!! You are not going to have a phone?” No, No, No… we will have a phone but it will just be our cell phones now. “I can’t hear on those things, how am I supposed to call you? Who will answer?” You can call the cell number and I will answer. “This is not going to work and you will not be able to call 911. I watched this on the news. Not a good way to live, you are walking a fine line.” It will work and I have not been able to call 911 from the landline for 25 years, they pass me to the wrong county. “What if 911 transfers me to your county, what will I do then?” They will not pass you to a county an hour away that has nothing to do with stopping my landline service. “Well every time you call on the landline I cannot hear you because there is too much static on the line.” I give up! Change is difficult to accept, sometimes to difficult.

Epic fail, the landline lives and our dinner music continues to be a ringing phone with Mr. / Mrs. Google Robot as a follow up. Google, we surrender!!!! We beg you to please stop calling, we are not interested in your directory although I am sure it is great!!!
Thank you for your time. Hope you smiled for a moment.

The words shared above are my express opinion upon watching the October 12, 2018 morning news shows and my life experiences. My words are meant to raise a level of awareness not malice.

Find Me A Stage, I Have Something To Say — MED

Find Me A Stage, I Have Something to Say —MED
October 10, 2018

Attic Unload

Nothing sparked my interest on the morning news broadcasts this morning. It may just be I am physically tired. I have spent the last two days on and off in our attic. We are fortunate to have a home with a very large attic. Some may say having a large attic is a curse. A dumping ground for everything and anything we have accumulated. Don’t throw it away put it in the attic in case we need, the kids may use it at some point, maybe we will have a garage sale … The stuff keeps multiplying.

Recently we have witnessed several friends of our go through their stuff with lighting speed throwing away more than they wanted too. Their homes went up for sale through the process of downsizing only to be sold in a day. The front yard for sale sign changed to sold in an instant but the cleanout marathon was just firing up. Panic is invoked and herculean strength exhibited as our friends were left to move out family treasures. We watched as long gone family member’s 100 year old furniture graced the curbside for a short time until scavengers scoped them up. The 40 year old kindergarten artwork that their children had bestowed on them shredded. Who has time for sentiment? Rapid Cleanout should be a trending hash tag for the over 50 set.

My husband and I have already started the downsizing conversation. I am unemployed at the moment so I figured I could get a jump on the cleanout starting with the attic. I have already gone through my little Picasso’s artwork, the shredded worked overtime. I have been digging into storage bins that have not been opened in years. Yesterday I found a wicker hamper with dingy, ugly lace curtains, what was I thinking? Who wants outdated dusty window curtains and a random shower curtain? Exactly what my kids would say if they were forced to cleanout our stuff. My daughter would roll her eyes and exclaim, “They are awful”! They were but I would never it admit it. I tripped over a box tightly packed to find inside 8 glasses from a set that we retired long ago. Into the donation pile they go. In a tender moment I discovered a needle point my grandmother had completed but not framed. Tears spilled. Tossed the outdated college and grad school books, doubt my kids would be interested in Re-Assurance or Intermediate accounting from 30 years ago.

High school mementoes all neatly packed away are calling my name but the voice is muffled by the bins upon bins of my daughter’s stuff, approximately 20. There are beanie babies, dolls and doll houses, Barbie’s sweet hot pink jeep, junk teenagers save and college stuff. On past occasions she has been reluctant to take her stuff. It is time. I am not going for mother of the year hear just an empty attic. My daughter is praying for a Rapid Cleanout or perhaps I should call it, Frustrated Parent Cleanout, in which we give up. Thus prompting her father to throw it all away without any emotional attachment, lighting speed to the curb. My thought, after providing free storage space for years, the least our daughter and her spouse can do it cart the unwanted treasures to the curb. Sweet justice will prevail; get a storage unit at top dollar or face the realization that it is time to clean up your stuff. Our son wisely took his stuff when he moved out, opting to rent a storage unit keeping control over his treasures. He has one box of childhood toys abandon under a corner cobweb. Hopefully it will squeeze into the storage unit. I will cut him some slack, it is just one box.

The front yard will display a for sale sign as I am dragging the last of the unwanted treasures to the curb. Minimalist movement here we come. No rapid cleanout for us. Honestly we can live without the old bed linens from the kid’s stay at sleep away camp. Again what the heck was I thinking!!! I need another garbage can.
Thank you for your time. Hope you smiled for a moment.

The words shared above are my express opinion upon watching the October 10, 2018 morning news shows. My words are meant to raise a level of awareness not malice.

Find Me A Stage, I Have Something To Say — MED

Find Me A Stage, I Have Something to Say —MED
October 8, 2018

Tooth Fairy Equity

It is a rainy dreary day in Northern New Jersey. Nothing really was striking in the news this morning until I viewed the first segment of the Megan Kelly Today Show. The panel was discussing a funny story about how much the Tooth Fairy leaves in their homes. A woman supposedly posed the question on social media. As many in my generation, I received a quarter, I think, it was so long ago.

My daughter received so much more by default. I was brand new as a parent to this ritual when I married my husband and became step mom to his two children. Of course my daughter lost a tooth a night my husband was unreachable as a firefighter. When she lost her tooth it was too late to call anyone including my mom to get a consensus. I was left to question my son who at that point no longer believed there was a Tooth Fairy. I asked him how much his mom would leave under the pillow for him. He responded, “Ten Dollars”. Wow, that seemed very high even considering an inflationary factor. I questioned him again asking him if he was telling the truth. I was impressed that my husband and his first wife had been so generous. So when my son finally went to bed I checked my wallet. I never planned for this so all I had was twenty dollar bills. It was 3 years since my son had had a visit from the Tooth Fairy. Inflationary affects? I decided to put the bill in an envelope wrote a quick note. Writing the note with my right hand to cover my backhanded lefty writing, the Tooth Fairy’s handwriting was very messy. Also drew a quick picture of the Tooth Fairy and the suspect tooth. What the heck, I would only get to do this for the first time once so why not write my own script!!!

My daughter rose the next morning quickly looking under her pillow. My son and I were in the kitchen, my husband still at work. From the bedroom we could hear her squealing. She was happy the Tooth Fairy left her $10. My son went to inspect. He corrected his sister, let her know the Tooth Fairy actually left $20 resulting in more happy squeals. He was not having it. Back in the kitchen I asked him why such anger? Well the truth was he really only ever received $1 per tooth. A $1 I could have provided with coins. My son learned his lesson quickly; it really did not pay to lie!!! My husband was surprised when he found out how much the Tooth Fairy left the prior evening. Hey you leave a step mom alone with no clue what the tradition is she makes her own traditions. My son still rolls his eyes when this story resurfaces and my daughter is all too happy to remember. It is fun to share a good laugh as a family. Let’s see what my daughter will do for her first child who is teething at the moment. My son chose not to be so generous to his own son. It is all good.
Thank you for your time. Hope your smiled for a moment.

The words shared above are my express opinion upon watching the October 8, 2018 morning news shows. My words are meant to raise a level of awareness not malice.

Find Me A Stage, I have Something To Say — MED

Find Me A Stage, I Have Something to Say —MED
October 4, 2018

Civility, The Word Of The Week

Civility, the action of being courteous!!! At least that is how I would define this term. Observing the actions of our President this past week, I would not use civility or any synonym of this word to describe his actions. The President berated Dr. Bleasy Ford at a political rally, inexcusable. He also insulted a female ABC political reporter at the press conference for the new trade agreement. I am paraphrasing his words but he basically told the reporter she had no idea what she was doing. Leading the reporter to say in a stern voice, “Excuse me” to the President. He covered with a quip that he chuckled and she proceeded to ask an informed question. This played out on the network broadcast. As President, I believe you are expected to be a leader, a role model. Despite your opinion certain commentaries should be left unsaid. No need to be nasty when no one is exhibiting that behavior toward you. Civility!

I think everyone would agree that you can have different views on issues and still get along. There is no need to berate anyone whether in a public forum, in school hallways, board rooms or in your neighbor’s driveway. There was a news clip running last night of parents at a children’s football game arguing into a full out brawl. Bad example set for your kids Dads and Moms. It is a game and nothing else. Check your baggage at the curb and enjoy the triumphs of all the young children on the field. Teach by example, express civility!

It starts right on the playing field as kids and carries through life. Those lessons of kindness, fairness, good sportsmanship are learned young. Once they are learned and reinforced you have civility in action. The country does not need the President of the United States offending citizens. Stop being offensive and clean up your act!!! You will gain so much more respect.

Thank you for your time. Hope your level awareness was raised.

The words shared above are my express opinion upon watching the October 4, 2018 morning news shows. My words are meant to raise a level of awareness not malice.

Find Me A Stage, I Have Something To Say — MED

Find Me A Stage, I Have Something to Say —MED
October 1, 2018

Breast Cancer Awareness

Fall has really begun in the Northeast! There is a chill in the air and the leaves are painting a beautiful landscape. Change is upon us. Even in the halls of our government. I feel the #metoo Movement has arrived. The pleas of a single woman to a senator have affected the Supreme Court Confirmation Hearings. I applaud that woman for her courage.

As women have been harassed, assaulted, not paid fairly etc. what stands out is that we are someone’s daughter, sister, wife and mother. Why are we treated the way we are and why do we accept this treatment. The time is up; I feel women will begin to stand up more because they are listened too. We have won a small victory.

It is Breast Cancer Awareness month. Imagine if women spoke out collectively to get better coverage for all of us and more funding to find a cure. Women should be diligent about having mammograms and also encouraging our sisters to get one too. Many women have no insurance coverage. We should do better. There should be funding!!! We should also have more funding to forward advancements in breast cancer care and the foundation for a cure.

Come on ladies, this is our rallying cry. Let’s treat ourselves better and expect better care for all.

Thank you for your time. Hope your level awareness was raised.

The words shared above are my express opinion upon watching the October 1, 2018 morning news shows. My words are meant to raise a level of awareness not malice.

Find Me A Stage, I Have Something To Say

Find Me A Stage, I Have Something to Say —MED
September 27, 2018

My Voting Story

As I watch the senate confirmation hearing this morning I am struck by the age of the confirmation committee members. I am so respectful of aging Americans but the faces I see do not represent me nor did they 36 years ago. I may agree / disagree with their politics but I would prefer a better mix of ages / backgrounds / gender. They are listening and weighing in on a vote that will affect the coming generation perhaps they should have some younger faces: representative of the citizens the future Supreme Court decisions will affect.

We are looking at the same faces of the Dr. Anita Hill / Clarence Thomas hearings only aged. The only way to change the political landscape is to vote. I wanted to share my voting story and encourage others to do the same. Some background before I share. I was raised in an American Irish Catholic Family. Politics were discussed and debated on various occasions. Each election day I would join my parents as they voted although far too young to vote. My first introduction into sharing my political views was a discussion with my Mom. Mom would generally speak with my Dad and they would decide who they would vote for on any given election. When I was in High School my Mom asked who I would vote for in a local election. This started an ongoing dialogue that I have found to be a common sharing of respected opinions. I have cherished this dialogue between the two of us. We have agreed, disagreed but respected each other’s views. What a joy! Someone to share politics in a respected conversation; my Dad does not necessarily share my political views at times. We lock horns respectfully. Now as a parent, I talk to my own children about politics with esteem not negativity. I want to hear what they have to say, thank you Mom for teaching me, I want them to vote for their convictions. I also took them with me to vote as kids. I wanted them to learn my example.

A true confession, I did not register to vote until I graduated from college. Sadly, a fellow student was called to jury duty and the professors would not work with her. It affected her grade. I felt I could not jeopardize my academic standing. This incident was probably boarding on illegal behavior but I was too scared!!! As soon as I graduated, I registered to vote! This right as a citizen I hold dear. Over 11 years of teaching, I encouraged my students to vote. It is their right too. I strongly feel if you do not vote you should not complain. You gave up your right to complain when you made the choice not to vote.
Thank you for your time. Hope your level awareness was raised.

The words shared above are my express opinion upon watching the September 27, 2018 morning news shows. My words are meant to raise a level of awareness not malice.